What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 23.06.2025 07:33
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
TEXT:
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Asperiores culpa provident similique ab.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
How can we become the best humans? How can we trust each other?
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Make Nazis afraid again!
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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!