What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why is it after eating almonds when I’m occupied, I don’t feel mild itch, but as soon as I have nothing to do, I feel mildly itchy?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

TEXT:

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What's at the center of Mars? Maybe the stench of rotten eggs - Space

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Which bands became massively popular for covering songs rather than recording originals?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why do I feel like I want to suck a big dick after injecting meth?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Is it socially acceptable for individuals to wear clothing typically associated with the opposite gender? What are some reasons for or against this practice?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What is the reason for the high rate of unmarried individuals in America, particularly among males?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Do you think a lot of sociopaths' parents kill themselves for having brought such disgusting evil into the world? How much shame and disgust must they carry?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.